Being Indian-Irish: Why Does Dating Sound Different?
There is a significant distinction between casual dating in India, dating abroad in Ireland, and dating with the desire to marry. If you aren’t searching for a casual fling and are interested in dating someone of a different race, culture, or belief, we recommend that you sign up for our FREE membership and Start Connecting.
We all grew up watching classic Bollywood films like “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,” in which you find love on your first quest and the tale centers around that.
Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they grin, they know with a glimpse that they’re into one other, a few conversations later, the hero and heroine are declaring their love for each other.
This is all well and good while you’re growing up, but what happens when you reach adulthood and start watching Netflix rom-coms? “Are You The One?” “Dating Around,” “Emily in Paris.” These highlights the main difference between finding love in India and finding love in Ireland.
you find "the one" after dating other people
In Irish love stories, you find “the one” after dating other people, after making errors and going through heartbreak. In Bollywood love stories, you usually hit the jackpot the first time. Most first generation Indian-Irish parents have had the Indian version of a love story, whether it was an arranged marriage or a cute love story; most of our parents haven’t dated other people. Not only does our culture despise the concept of dating, but most Indians are more concerned with the final result than with the journey. Commitment is expected in India and regarded as a privilege in Ireland.
marrying children is the primary responsibility of parents in India
Throughout high school, Indian parents repeated the mantra, “don’t focus on boys/girls.” “No boyfriend/girlfriend problems; focus on your studies.” You meet a number of new individuals in college, fall in love with them, and establish a secret connection with them without telling your parents.
It’s interesting to note that once we finish college or graduate school, the situation entirely reverses. The Indian community, which has generally disregarded all dating relationships, is concerned about your marriage when you grow up.
Basically, our entire lives as Indians, we have never had any guidance when it comes to dating? How do we bring the Bollywood industry ideal of romance to Ireland? How are we suppose to know what kind of individual is “worth it”? Don’t you think the swan song of dating for first generation Indians in Ireland is so-damn-confusing?
Talk to your parents about what it means to be in a relationship and persuade them that you are mature enough to have an open conversation in your dating hunt, date in Ireland as an Indian-Irish. Many of us are terrified of commitment, too many ladies are afraid to acknowledge that they just want to date around, and too many of us are unsure what to do next.
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